As I sit here trying to decompress from a horrible afternoon at work, gorging on a box of Cheez-Its, I’m contemplating one of my favorite quotes: “Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” Spoken by the Dalai Lama, it’s a philosophy I try to live by.
Not to sound like a huge, whiny baby, but why does it have to be so freakin’ hard? How do we accomplish this when we are forced to interact with those who have awful behavior? When we don’t have the option of just walking away to eliminate the offender, (or in my case, offenders) from our vicinity?
You see, I teach middle school, and I have this one class that destroys my inner peace practically every day. The rational part of me understands that this is my choice; that I am the one allowing them to do it, but my emotional side can find no way out. Let’s face it. I’m just not that enlightened. (Excuse me for a moment while I eat Cheez-It one hundred twenty-three.)
I have tried everything I can think of to remedy the situation. Nothing is working. And the thing is, I’m pretty tolerant of others’ shortcomings because I’ll be the first to admit I am far from perfect. People make mistakes. Many times we don’t know or understand why people behave the way they do, and it’s easy to judge. In fact, that’s the theme of my latest book. But when bad behavior is repeated day after day after day by the same perpetrators, it’s difficult to calmly step back and think, “I’ll show some compassion because I’m sure he has reasons for acting like a total jerk face.” No. In the heat of the moment, all I know is that someone is destroying my inner peace and I want it to stop!
Not to sound like a huge, whiny baby, but why does it have to be so freakin’ hard? How do we accomplish this when we are forced to interact with those who have awful behavior? When we don’t have the option of just walking away to eliminate the offender, (or in my case, offenders) from our vicinity?
You see, I teach middle school, and I have this one class that destroys my inner peace practically every day. The rational part of me understands that this is my choice; that I am the one allowing them to do it, but my emotional side can find no way out. Let’s face it. I’m just not that enlightened. (Excuse me for a moment while I eat Cheez-It one hundred twenty-three.)
I have tried everything I can think of to remedy the situation. Nothing is working. And the thing is, I’m pretty tolerant of others’ shortcomings because I’ll be the first to admit I am far from perfect. People make mistakes. Many times we don’t know or understand why people behave the way they do, and it’s easy to judge. In fact, that’s the theme of my latest book. But when bad behavior is repeated day after day after day by the same perpetrators, it’s difficult to calmly step back and think, “I’ll show some compassion because I’m sure he has reasons for acting like a total jerk face.” No. In the heat of the moment, all I know is that someone is destroying my inner peace and I want it to stop!
Those of you who know me well will soon be thinking, “Here she goes again with the flames on the side of the face reference,” but this clip is just so damned spot on!
I have been fascinated with Buddhism for some time now. One of the reasons is when I look at a Buddhist monk, I see peace and happiness. Sure, they’re human like the rest of us. They have moments of sadness, anger, doubt. Yet to me, they ooze contentment. Then again, they do live in monasteries and meditate for hours on end, which I don’t see myself doing anytime soon.
So I guess I’ll continue berate myself for lacking the will to do all that self-improvement. (Believe me, I’ve tried meditation off and on throughout the years and can never seem to stick with it.) I’ll continue to piss and moan about how someone “out there” is destroying my inner peace. Maybe someday I’ll reach that place where I won’t give others’ behavior so much power over my state of mind, but in the meantime, I’ll just have to count the days until summer vacation.
So I guess I’ll continue berate myself for lacking the will to do all that self-improvement. (Believe me, I’ve tried meditation off and on throughout the years and can never seem to stick with it.) I’ll continue to piss and moan about how someone “out there” is destroying my inner peace. Maybe someday I’ll reach that place where I won’t give others’ behavior so much power over my state of mind, but in the meantime, I’ll just have to count the days until summer vacation.
Shelly Hickman 
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